The Aspergers Part of the Body of Christ

The Aspergers part of the body of Christ needs more thought. As the church contains men and women, so it also contains neurotypicals and Aspies. Women typically congregate with women and men do likewise with men when socializing.

For Aspies, socializing seems like it needs its own version of 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God."

Warning: what's about to follow is both funny and not-so-funny. It's a harsh reality Aspies learn and neurotypicals cannot honestly deny. Aspies are equipped to take things direct, so are not likely to be offended. NTs being accustomed to hints may get upset, but if thought is provoked, then it has done some good.

Aspies… Do not expect to be bound closely together with neurotypical Christians; for what partnership have Aspies and neurotypicals, or what fellowship has hyper-focus with hypo-focus? Or what harmony has complexity with simplicity, or what has a hyper-thinker in common with a hypo-thinker? Or what agreement has the straight-forward with hinters? For we are the hyper-sensitive, hyper-empathetic, hyper-intuitive, hyper-vigilant, hyper-strange part of the body of Christ!

The good news for both neurotypical Christians and Aspie Christians is that the Lord says, “I will dwell in them and walk among them; And I will be their God, and they shall be My people. I will welcome you. And I will be a father to you, And you shall be sons and daughters to Me,” says the Lord Almighty.

The main reason why Aspies can't expect social unity with NTs is because neither will think like the other. Confusion exists both ways. Aspies confuse NTs and NTs confuse Aspies. Cynthia Kim provides this great example when answering What is Neurotypical:

Sometimes NT behavior can be frustrating. For example, you may notice that NTs have a tendency to say something other than what they mean. If you get a new haircut and you’re not sure how it looks on you, don’t bother asking an NT. Most will tell you it looks great, even if it doesn't.

Why? Because when a neurotypical woman asks her friend “how do you like my new haircut?” she isn’t looking for her friend’s opinion, she’s looking for validation. When her friend says, “I love it” she may mean I love your hair, but what she’s really saying is I love you and value you as a person.

So when your NT friend says “how do you like my new haircut?” and you, being your aspie self, reply, “It’s a little short in the back but I like it”, your NT friend hears I secretly hate you and think you’re ugly.

Confusing, I know.

And good luck getting an opinion out of an NT when you really need one. It may help to preface your question by explicitly stating that you’re seeking an actual, honest-to-God opinion but, even then, the NT’s dogged adherence to socially appropriate behavior may inhibit their ability to say what they’re really thinking. Try to remember that NTs were born this way and their natural sensitivity to what others are thinking and feeling often makes it hard for them to be completely honest.

Don't think confusion will leave, especially when most NTs don't try to understand Asperger's because they don't really have to. These are words from a NT:

Neurotypicals are a huge majority in society and they have each other and can understand and relate to each other and society is "designed" for them, so they have little trouble functioning according to society's expectations. It's easier for them to just ignore the few people who are different from them than to try to understand them. Not understanding aspies has very little consequences for most neurotypicals, so they take the easy way out and don't even try.

At least ignoring those who are different is better than wrongly judging them.

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The Risk Aspies Face With Church Fellowship

The risk Aspies face with church fellowship need to be realized and respected by neurotypical Christians. This means accepting the decisions Christian Aspies make in regard to church attendance. Most Christian Aspies never find a church where fellowship is a healthy experience for them.

Typical advice to Aspies is, “Be the best you can be.” This reveals the ignorance of knowing most adult Aspies already are being the best they can be. Sadly, that’s not good enough. What’s also unknown by almost all NTs is how dangerous it can be for Aspies to keep trying to be someone they are not. Tony Attwood knows how important it is for Aspies to be true to who they really are, but Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen does not. If he did, he would not say, “More detailed studies are needed…”

This Asperger Ministry wants to encourage Aspies to be the best they can be. This means embrace being different, accept being out of sync with the rest of the world, and don’t expect most NTs to welcome this approach. What’s the risk of not doing so? Suicidal thoughts are 1,000% more likely in adults with Asperger’s.

If Ryo and Craig did this, they probably would not have committed suicide. Caroline (Ryo’s NT mother) would not have been as motivated to explain about Asperger’s and help people understand how different it is from what most of us are used to; how differently people with Asperger’s see and experience the world. Fran (Craig’s NT mother) might have understood how Craig’s “therapy” fueled his suicidal tendency.

Susan said, “Throughout Craig’s life he made herculean, minute-by-minute efforts to become or at least appear normal.” What maybe no one else knows is that he did this because of being warned by one of his therapists, “Being around someone who accepts you as you are ‘messes up’ your therapy.” Ironically, it was when Craig was with someone who accepted him as he was, who he didn’t feel like a failure with, and who genuinely welcomed his company, he removed himself from that environment because of believing his NT therapist more than his Aspie friend who warned him about trying to be somebody he’s not.

Craig once said, “If I don’t receive the approval in gestures when I’m around others in a social environment, then I feel like a complete failure until I remove myself from that environment.” Who could make him feel more like a failure than his therapists? But yet he kept going back to the therapists. The more he went to the ‘mental health’ environment, the worse he got. Going to church can have this same depressing effect.

Ryo’s mother Caroline said, “Maybe if Ryo experienced [your] Christian faith, he would not have committed suicide.” That’s probably true, but having Christian faith doesn’t necessarily mean church fellowship would have been good for him. Ryo needed to be understood; not judged.

Chris says people with AS tend to get very drained by socializing, since it draws on so much of their mental resources. A 46 yr-old Christian Aspie man says we Aspies spend most of our life being judged and misunderstood by NTs. It’s why Aspie Samantha is at her best in the alcove of solitude.

As for other Aspies…

Jenfrog says all her "heathen" friends at work have always been much more tolerant and accepting of her differences than anyone at three different churches has been. She also says no one has been as hurtful to her in her entire life as church people. She’s darn sure that she won't be trusting them with personal information, seeking to build relationships, or foolishly giving too much of herself again. She has seen these things happen with many other people, as well.

Rachel says she sees the looks when she stands off by herself—(thou shalt not interact unless thou art commanded to come)—but her interpretation skills can be a little off, so that group of women at church she sees as a minefield might actually want me to come and chat. Seriously? This is making friends? You can’t kid her.

Lynne says to this day [Sep 29, 2009], she has found very few "religious" people who have truly embodied the beliefs they espoused.  And, she can honestly say, that many of the worst things that have ever been done to her or to people she cared about, have been done by people who professed to be "religious."

Brant Hansen, a host on Christian radio, says his Asperger's syndrome makes him feel like an alien at church. He has grown up in churches and is a Christian. He states, “Feeling out of place at work is one thing. Feeling like an alien at church is a whole other matter. Imagine Mr. Spock at an evangelical Christian tent revival, and you’ll get the idea. And my father is a pastor, so I was in church a lot… It’s true, though, others won’t understand me. I know that. I’m still an alien in the American Christian subculture. Each evening I retreat from it, and I go straight to the Gospels. It's not out of duty that I read about Jesus; it's a respite. I long for it, because I'm awash in two strange and baffling cultures, both the irreligious and religious. And I long for someone I can finally understand, and someone who might finally understand me.”

NT Stephanie, when describing her Aspie daughter’s church experience says, “The most common stumbling block is a negative experience with Christians. Aspies usually want to have contact and relationships with others… Many individuals with Asperger’s believe that, since their schools, jobs or peers had rejected them or made fun of them, surely the church will be a place to find solace and understanding. After all, the Bible commands us to love God, to love people and to follow the golden rule. This sounds like a welcome refuge to individuals who are often socially rejected, misunderstood and ostracized. But too many times, Aspies experience the same rejection in the church.”

Rejection may not appear immediately. TheatreAS was blown away on his first day visiting a new church. People were genuinely interested in him, started conversations with him, and he became part of the group. This never happened to him before. His assessment is limited to one worship service. A congregation may be curious about him when he first arrives, but the reality is this interest almost always fades away after judgments are made.

NT Steve says churches are to identify the gifts, strengths, and talents of Aspies; then offer them opportunities to use them serving in the church. He does not say what Aspies are to do when churches will not acknowledge their gifts, strengths, or talents.

A pastor says his congregation watches his teenage Aspie son. Most do not understand him, but have learned how to “take” him now and be very “sympathetic.” Tolerance with sympathy shows no appreciation for gifts, strengths, or talents. Does the Bible say, “Because I am not neurotypical, I am not a part of the body?” The Bible does not say that, but the way congregations fellowship does.

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Pathetical Blindness

Pathetical blindness started from biased experts forcefully implanting myths about Aspergers. This ignorance continues to perpetuate. Thank God evidence is finally pouring in to reverse the damage already done. This Asperger Ministry devotes itself to the clean up work. Doing so requires exposing what’s incorrect thinking against what’s correct. Christians need to be meek (teachable, humble) and not gullible. This is not an Aspie pride thing. It is about loving thy neighbor as thyself.

We will begin with this comment by Adam from the post Why Christians Need to Care About Autism (which also needs this ministry’s help):

How would God judge a person with autism, more specifically Asperger's syndrome? Even though someone with Asperger's usually has average or above average intelligence and understands the gospel and the fact that he wants to worship God and be a good Christian, but since people with Asperger's can't socialize or communicate efficiently with others to share or grow themselves in the faith, will God judge them more lightly than say the average, normal human being?

I’m speaking primarily teenagers and adults with Asperger's here. They can try and try to be a Christian but what if they can't progress or get past a certain threshold or barrier because of their disorder, or the inability to see their own shortcomings and usually don't have a clue on how to fix or rise above them. I’m thinking Christian counseling may be one avenue these people could look towards for help?

The article’s subtitle reads What responsibility do believers have for those with special needs? For starters, we have the responsibility to treat others how we would want them to treat us. How many believers would like to be insulted? Would you feel insulted if you were thought of as being an abnormal human being; a defect? Philippians 2:3 tells us to humbly think of others as being better than ourselves.

It is no one’s business to question how God will judge others. His ways are not our ways. He is sovereign and infinite. We’re not. God is good. We’re not. God is the one who saves us. He is able to do anything He desires. He finishes what He starts. It is a sin to question God’s ability or wisdom.

We will be judged for our faith in God. Do we trust and obey Him? Anything that is not of faith is sin. Sin is what God cares about. To claim Aspies can’t socialize or communicate efficiently with others to share or grow in faith reveals ignorance and pride. God never commands anyone to do something He does not enable them to do.

To 'try and try to be a Christian' is the mind-set of a self-righteous person. We are saved by faith; not by works. It is Christ’s righteousness that saves us. The faith to grasp this is a gift from God. God is the potter. We are the clay. Whether one is neurotypical clay or Aspie clay makes no difference. Only God is able to judge the heart.

Let’s not forget Galatians 1:10, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

Aspies have no clue on how to fix their “flaws” or “rise” above them? God is not able to clue in Aspies to what He wants them to fix; nor is He able to sanctify them?

Fact: Asperger individuals do not lack empathy. Asperger’s theory does about-face is just the beginning of information long over-due. In the 1980’s, Uta Frith and Simon Baron-Cohen theorized Aspies lack empathy. Their dehumanizing work spread like fire. They were quick to speak and do not like to listen to what others have to say if what's said crosses their opinion or calls their research into question.

The Boy Whose Brain Could Unlock Autism tells how the Intense World theory could transform our understanding of Aspergers. The article reveals a lot about Henry Markram’s Aspie son Kai. Markram says of his son, “Everybody was looking at it (i.e., Aspergers) as if they (i.e., Aspies) have no empathy, no theory of mind. And actually Kai, as awkward as he was, saw through you. He had a much deeper understanding of what really was your intention.”

Karla McLaren’s article Autism, empathy, and the mind-blindness of everyday people gives a human vision of autistic humanity. True Christians would value her input. She sums up by saying,

Today in 2015, as I watch my autistic friends creating autism-positive spaces and working for social justice for all disabled people, I witness their gorgeous and deep empathy, their boundless sensitivity, and their love for humanity. They have risen above the dehumanization of biomedical vision, and they can teach us more about empathy than we have ever known before.

Autistic people, pathologized and erased for so long by the mind-blindness of researchers and everyday people, are the only people who can help us truly understand autism from the inside out. It is time for us to embrace autistic people as valuable, worthwhile, and fully human beings with valid and hard-won wisdom.

The church should also appreciate Alex Plank’s interview with Henry and Kamila Markram About The Intense World Theory of Autism. It ends with this wisdom:

For autists, they will learn how to nurture rather than lockup the deep insight and how to contribute these insights to society. We will learn how to help the next generation of autists cope and express their individual genius. For society, we will learn how valuable the autistic community is for society.

Glory be to God!

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Suffering with Aspergers?

It’s not accurate to think there is such as thing as suffering with Aspergers. Aspergers is not a disorder, mental illness, or disease. It is a different way of thinking. Who does not suffer from being misunderstood?

Foreign cultures are misunderstood, unless one comprehends their different way of being. American Aspies in a foreign country often times have less difficulty getting along with the neurotypicals there than they do in their native country, especially if they rarely get to know tourists.

Expectations lead to judgments. Judgments may lead to a label. If someone’s way of thinking differently isn’t understood, being able to label him brings comfort. Oh what a tangled web psychiatrists weave sometimes when they create labels for their diagnostic manuals. Take homosexuality for example…

Homosexuality had been officially classified as a mental disorder in the APA's first Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-1) in 1952. There it was designated as a "sociopathic personality disturbance." Viewing homosexuality as a mental illness was not controversial back then. Before the DSM-1, practicing homosexuality was known as sin. It still is, but not as commonly so. DSM-II, published in 1968, listed homosexuality as a sexual deviation, but sexual deviations were no longer categorized as a sociopathic personality disturbance. The publication of DSM-II coincided with the emergence of the gay rights movement.

The outcome of Aspergers having been placed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) and The International Classification of Diseases (ICD) led to stigmas, myths, and incorrect theories spread about Aspergers. Because of this, too many people ignorantly think Aspergers is something Aspies “suffer” with. Too commonly it’s incorrectly referred to as being a “disorder” or “disease.” For this reason, it is a good thing it is no longer in the DSM and will be removed from the next version of the ICD.

Aspies may seem like social deviants to neurotypicals, but to deviate from the norm is not necessarily a bad thing. If it was, people wouldn’t appreciate those who “think outside the box.” Aspies may think of solutions to problems NTs are not able to.

The worst thing about Asperger’s syndrome is that people can choose to ignore its existence because it’s not something visible to the typical person. This leaves the door wide open for others to endlessly criticize and make fun of someone who thinks differently. For an Aspie to be unaware of AS's existence can be worse than having an awareness of it. Aspies blessed with growing up in a loving family can feel safe and accepted for who they are. It’s hell on earth for Aspies who must endure being raised without an emotional safety haven that accepting and loving family members can provide.

People are not so quick these days to take advantage of, criticize, and/or make fun of someone obviously different physically (e.g., wheelchair bound, blind, deaf, burn victim, etc.). Since AS is so invisible to most people and difficult to prove to those who love to remain ignorant and skeptical (or those who don’t have the mental capacity to comprehend something as complex as AS), AS remains as the last frontier to overcome in regards to bigotry and bias.

It may be accurate to say Aspies are “suffering from NTs.” As one parent of an Aspie child put it, “I thought I would have to teach my son about the world; turns out I have to teach the world about him.”

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